ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
