dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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