I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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