Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
