"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
