Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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