after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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