guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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