My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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