i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
