I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
