I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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