3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
