I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
