Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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