Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
