Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
