i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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