So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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