I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
