That's intense
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Drake has all the answers
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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