I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
