I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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