But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
