I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
