Ambien. No doubt about it.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Two words: nipple clamps
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