I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
