At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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