I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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