ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
