It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Mom said you looked used
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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