I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
