Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
