I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
