I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
