imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
