escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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