i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
