i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
