why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
