Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
