Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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