Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
