I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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