I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
