I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
