Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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