We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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