Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
