I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
